This is actually a really tough assignment. I have been putting it off. I have not generally been demotivated while learning. I started writing about my most serious episode of feeling demotivated, but found that I just can’t share it — especially on a public site. So, I will recount a “safer” incident, but I think it’s worth mentioning that the ideas we are discussing in this class have made me take a good look at what I am doing now and really think about what I want and need from any learning/teaching experience.
As a freshman in college, I had the opportunity to join a separate learning community. Instead of being just another of ~1000 freshman, a group of 30 of us would have most of our classes together, with our teachers. I thought it would be a good way to transition to college, as I had come from a very small high school. Mostly, it was fine, but I realized after the first semester that instead of making me feel as though I had a community, it made me feel isolated from the rest of the class. At my school, almost all freshmen were in the same classes anyway, so being in separate classes meant I couldn’t join study groups in my dorm, etc. So, isolation can be demotivating.
On top of this, there was one particular incident that stands out as one of my 2 main memories from that period. The first was good — it made a professor seem more “human” to me. The second was not so good, as it made the professor seem like a jerk. I had worked all night on doing a homework assignment. I had not gone to the TA session, because I knew I could do the problem on my own, if I just stuck with it, and I didn’t want the solution spoon fed to me, as typically occurred in TA sessions.
The following morning, I turned in my (complete) HW. As I’d expected, I had come up with a solution to the tough problem, and I felt good about it. I was excited by the new concepts we were learning, and I just wanted to share this feeling, I think. So, I asked my professor a question about the homework. I can’t remember any more what the question was, and maybe it was a stupid question, I don’t know. But his response, “Why are you asking me? That’s what the TA is for.” just made me feel so unimportant and disempowered. My enthusiasm evaporated. Fortunately, I did not lose interest in the subject matter, but my enjoyment was affected by my impression of him from that point on. In that class, I guess I would have fallen into the “defiant” category. I did well in the class and enjoyed the material in spite of him. But it could have been a much better learning experience.
What could have been done differently?
It wouldn’t have taken much…. All I was looking for was some small connection. He could have looked interested and nodded a few times without really listening, and I’m sure I would have been satisfied. He could have even said he didn’t have time to talk right at that moment, but that I could catch him another day or at his office hours. I don’t know if he was just having an off day or if he was always rude, because I never said another word to him.